"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posts tagged ‘the heart of the matter’

Finding the way home

“Stop looking for the answers from strangers. The answers to life are within you. Only YOU know what makes your heart feel at home. Only you can hear your inner voice. The key is in asking the right questions.” ~ C Nordyke

When  seeking direction in life’s challenges I have often wished that I could reach up into thin air and grab the “magic book” of answers. I’ve felt that I just know it’s there … if I could just figure out how to actually see it to pick it up.  It was as though the solutions to my challenges existed somewhere outside of me, if I could just connect to the answers or perhaps to a person who could give them to me.

I lived most of my life this way; always looking outside myself to find myself.
Giving my power away. Living as though someone other than me was more qualified or had a clearer vision of what I should be doing or feeling or what was best for me. All I had to do was find the person with the answers.

SEEDSfromHOMEwithinYOUAs I have been working with some incredibly gifted coaches and mentors over the past several years I’ve become aware that for most of my life, in some form or another I’ve been giving my power away to others.  Some didn’t want it, some exploited it and some lovingly handed it back to me – a gift I did not know how to receive.

When making new friends, sometimes there would be an unexplainable heart connection where I felt that although we had just met, we’d somehow known each other forever. In these relationships I held nothing back believing that in sharing as much as I could, as accurately as I could, the other person would be able to feed it back to me with an answer or a solution to whatever life challenge was presenting itself at the time.  I didn’t realize what a burden this placed on the relationship and how unfair it was to both of us. To you, I offer my humble apologies.

My early coaching sessions followed this old and familiar behavior of giving up my power by providing information and expecting a nice, neat package of answers all tied up with a bow that outlined the plan for my life. Thankfully, the feedback from my coaches and mentors did not come delivered in the way that I expected it to. My power has always been lovingly handed back to me along with tools and practices that assist me to ask the right questions and then listen to the wisdom of my own heart to find what I seek.

I am grateful to these gifted souls for their infinite patience and guidance which has assisted me to unfurl a few more petals on the ever-blossoming flower that is uniquely “me”. It feels wonderfully liberating to be able to stand in confidence in my own power with trust that what I seek is already whispering inside my heart, I am simply required to become quiet enough to hear it.

Throw the seed catalogs away! The seeds for the beautiful flower that you are already exist within you. Your heart gives you clues as to which seeds to water. You will know you have chosen wisely when you feel blissfully at home in whatever you are doing.

No matter where you are in the world, if you allow it, your heart can bring you home. Keep watering those seeds!

The Heart of the Matter

The Heart of the Matter

The Heart of the Matter

“…been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, everything changes and my thoughts they get scattered but I think it’s about … forgiveness … forgiveness … even if you don’t love me any more …” ~ Don Henley

The Heart of the Matter is a 3D project that was inspired by some of the gifts I have received on my personal journey of growing and evolving. I find that the most effective medicine for the times when I am feeling an ‘inner unrest’ that requires time for reflection to ‘sort it all out’ is to take that time out in nature. Being in nature takes many forms such as tending the garden or walking on the beach however, one of my favorite places to sit and be quiet with me is under a large, old maple tree in the woods near my home.

I often seek the solace of nature when I am experiencing emotional turmoil. It can feel overwhelming to experience the many things I cannot control about my life and my relationships. Sitting still and allowing the peaceful perfection of the natural world to act as my safety net I find that I am able to ground myself and allow that peace to resonate within me. Sitting quietly under the maple tree assists me to let go of the extraneous things that distract me and to go deeper into truth to get to the heart of whatever is currently bothering me … to get to the Heart of the Matter.

Here there are no ringing phones, no knocks on the door, no emails to read or write … no external chatter. My inner ‘to-do’ list is put away for a while. Here I am able to let go of the world and its demands and I create the space to allow my sometimes seemingly incessant inner chatter to be quiet.

The Heart of the MatterA tree in the forest has no option for moving on to greener pastures when the going gets tough. It must grow where it is planted. There are many things we can learn from this growing while standing still. The development of this project revealed several insights which led to the evolution from “March 2011 Tree” into “The Heart of the Matter”.  One set of insights came in listening to Don Henley sing.

I reflected on forgiveness for a while asking to know what it really means to forgive. Forgiveness on the deepest level would mean that my emotional response when thinking about something that brings me a sense of pain would instead bring a sense of peace. Forgiveness would mean that I would truly understand … to know like I know like I know … no matter how painful something may have felt in the past, the pain can be healed and the wound can disappear. This has already happened with some of my formerly painful emotional responses. My body no longer acts in fear. I am at peace. I am now simply required to expand that feeling into other painful situations.

There are still some ways in which I have not truly forgiven. Here in this place of resisting forgiveness there is a connectedness to being right. Does forgiveness mean that I was wrong? Does forgiveness mean that my pain was not real? Does forgiveness mean that the other was right in what they did or said? Does forgiveness require letting go of justice?

Early one morning as I sat processing and reflecting on some of these questions around forgiveness my son Josh played a song from his phone that he said I just had to hear. The song asked … well, I will quote the lyrics here…
_____________________
What Would You Say by Trailer Choir
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0Qhgvn1gak&feature=share

what if the moment came and
you knew your life was down to minutes
lighter’s flame was all you had to see
and you found a pen and torn up piece of paper
and a note was all you could leave

13 men felt trapped in a mine in West Virginia,
only one made it out alive
but their love lives on in the words
I can not wait to see you on the other side

what would you say(x2)
(CHORUS)
in the lines on a page from the life that you made
could you write it with no regrets
would you know in yourself you gave somebody else
all the love that you had inside
right down to your last breath

would you tell your momma thank you for the way you love me
daddy don’t cry everything’s gonna be ok
would you tell your little boy that
you’ll be watching him from up in heaven,
you’ll never miss one game

what would you say(x2)
(CHORUS)
in the lines on a page from the life that you made
could you write it with no regrets
would you know in yourself you gave somebody else
all the love that you had inside
right down to your last breath

what would you say

(CHORUS)
in the lines on a page from the life that you made
could you write it with no regrets
would you know in yourself you gave somebody else
all the love that you had inside
right down to your last breath

what if the moment came and
you knew your life was down to minutes
_____________________

The first few lines of the song brought tears to my eyes and before long I was sobbing as wave after wave of emotion swept over me. I felt the purest of truths hit me deep in my chest and spread with a peaceful warmth throughout my body. Here in this unexpected emotional journey I touched the Heart of the Matter.

What if the moment came and I knew my life was down to minutes?

What would I say?

Love, Accept, Forgive - Begin with you - Start Now

Love, Accept, Forgive – Begin with you – Start Now

What would YOU say?

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